Esquire: What men need to know about fatherhood

Esquire Magazine has produced a great list of 71 things Every Man Should Know About Fatherhood. It’s exhaustive and funny. Highlights follow.

[Found at Blogging Baby]

• #4 "Never tell anyone that you and your wife are ‘trying.’ We don’t need the visual." I totally agree.
• #16 "Reason boys are better: They cannot get pregnant."
• #17 "Reason girls are better: They’re less likely to get arrested." Tell that to Lionel Richie
• #34 "At a certain point, your child will appear to survive
  exclusively on peanut butter, french fries, Cheerios, and hot dogs." I
  recently had this conversation with one of the moms at ballet. I joked
  that pasta and blueberries were keeping my Gracie alive (it could be
  worse, I guess), and she launched into a tale of their nightly mealtime
  battles. I admitted that I once succumbed to that pointless
  back-and-forth until I realized: 1.) No child has ever starved itself
  to death, 2.) Her body tells her how much food she needs to eat. I’d rather she respond to that than external pressures to stuff her gullet  3.) Her
  stomach is about the size of a tennis ball. So relax. If she wants to
  eat mac n cheese, give her mac n cheese. I call this moment in
  parenting, "How I learned to stop worrying and love the Kraft."
• #46 "There is only one reason for a teenager to
  burn incense, and we think you remember what it is." Let me add: If he
  suddenly requests a fan for his bedroom window, you need to have a look
  around.
• #47: "Unfortunately, those books that say
  motherhood makes women desire more sex are referring to women who are
  not your wife." Amen, brother. Amen.
• #71: "If you’re thinking that fatherhood means the end of life as you’ve known it, you, sir, are, of course, absolutely correct."

Just great. Let me add: When jr. is standing in front of the fireplace,
as still as a statue, and emitting little "umh" sounds (as mine is
doing this very second), he’s making a little present for you.

Got to go.